Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing here. I mean, I know God called me to this place. I don’t doubt that he wants me here, but some days it’s difficult to see why. I can barely communicate with the locals. I haven’t connected with the Laboule kids for English lessons in more than 2 weeks. And I feel like everything I’ve done in the last month has been about me, when what I really want to do is impact the Kingdom of God.
I admit that I’ve needed the last month as an adjustment period. I can’t imagine stepping off the plane and into the classroom. It would have been too much for me. I needed time to get adjusted to a different pace of life (much slower) and to ask questions. I’ve learned some very valuable lessons about the culture and language in the past few weeks.
I also recognize that it takes time to build relationships. Very rarely has my life been changed because of one or two interactions with a person. In fact I know it’s the opposite that’s true. The people who have consistently invested in my life over a period of time are the ones who have made the biggest and longest lasting impact.
On the days where impatience rears its head and I wonder yet again what I’m doing here, I will try to remember these two things.
- Serving God is more about attitude than it is about actions. (Colossians 3:17)
- God brought me here and he’s not going to leave me hanging now. (Philippians 4:19)
Someday I will look back and say, “Wow! God was working there whether I knew it or not.” Until that day I’ll be thankful for the little flashes of his grander plan and continue to love people the best that I know how.
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