decade

According to my Facebook friends who also attended Bethel College, I graduated ten years ago this weekend. It seems impossible to be ten years removed from college life and my dreams from that period of time. My life looks nothing like I thought it would at this point. And that's okay!!

When I left Bethel College, I thought...
I would move to Chicago and teach at an inner city high school--and maybe even start a community center. Instead I taught middle school reading in Mishawaka, English as a foreign language in Haiti, and now high school English in Goshen. Even though the location hasn't been what I thought it would  be, my desire to work with students who come from low income backgrounds has been realized. And my dreams of starting a community center are still alive and well--I just picture myself running community programs in Haiti instead of the inner city.
I would be married by age 25 or 26, with multiple kids by age 30. In reality I didn't get married until a week before my 30th birthday. But, I'm not complaining. I love my husband, and I'm really, really thankful I trusted God and waited for Arold.
I would maintain my close relationships with my college friends. I was determined that I was not going to be one of those people who left college and promptly forgot about my BFFs. The truth is I was unprepared for how much work friendships take when you don't live in the same building. There are a small handful of friends from college that I regularly talk to, but I do wish I had done a better job of keeping up with my roommate and suite-mates from sophomore year.

Rest assured, some things haven't changed.

1. Most days you still can't see the surface of my desk or dining room table.
2. The alarm goes off multiple times before I roll out of bed in the morning.
3. I would much rather stay up late with my girlfriends talking than do school work.
4. Discussing grammar is still fascinating. (Seriously.)

Most importantly, though, I still want to serve God with my whole life. I'm just learning that sometimes that looks different than I imagined it would.

Our Last Sunday in Gramothe

Today was our last Sunday in Gramothe. It has rained a lot lately and the road has been getting worse and worse. There are some really big holes in the road on the way down to the riverbed, and this morning they threatened to swallow us up. There's a team of 18 people here right now, but we didn't take the truck to church. The road is just too bad. So some people walked (bless their hearts) and the rest of us rode the ATVs. I have taken Isaac on the ATVs before--always in his moby wrap--but today was scary. That road is crazy! It was a relief to get to the riverbed because there were no giant holes to swallow us up. If it wasn't our last time at church in Gramothe, I would have kept Isaac at home!

Church was really great--except for my cranky son. I listened to the sermon from the cafeteria because he was so restless/cranky/crying. I tried to keep him in the sanctuary the other parts of church, but we left a lot because he was making so much noise. Silly boy. The great parts of church were the singing time, the English sermon on following Jesus, and the part where Willem called our family up on stage. We actually were up there twice. Before the sermon Willem called us up and talked a lot about Arold and then let him say something to the church. Isaac was going crazy, so we left the stage after that. But after the sermon Willem called me back up to say something (through tears of course) to the church. It was good to say goodbye. Then the church prayed for us. Prayer send offs are one of my favorite parts of being part of a congregation. I cried the whole time, and I saw my husband wipe away tears too.

The best/hardest part of church was when everyone was dismissed and so many people made their way to Arold and me. It was like a wedding receiving line. Except I was by the door and Arold was on stage. So it was two receiving lines of one person. Rosias and Monley were some of the first people to come and hug me. They were both crying, so of course I burst into tears again. (And I had just gotten myself under control from the prayer time!) Then other students and adults in the church came to find me and bless me and Isaac before we left. It was really sweet to be told over and over again that I am loved and they will miss me. Of course I got to tell them that I love them too and God bless them. Such a perfect way to end my time in Gramothe.

Tonight Arold's family is coming over after church. It's nice to spend time with them before we go. We will miss them so much more than words can say.

Official Bittersweet Announcement

I'd like to skip this post all together in order to ignore reality, but I know I can't do that. *sigh* Here's goes.

We’re thankful for the ministry God has given us with Mountain Top Ministries. Arold has been at the school since 2007 and I've been here since 2010. We have invested in our students through English and computer classes, crochet lessons, summer VBS, and countless hours in the school yard building relationships. Nearly 20 of these young people have been baptized in the last two years. Arold has taught Sunday school classes, played on the worship team, and most recently started a gospel choir with the youth. We have both been privileged to play a part in providing life changing medical care to more than 7,000 patients through the clinic in the last two years alone. There are a lot of good things happening through the school, medical clinic, and church in Gramothe.

While we have been blessed to be a part of the ministry here, we recognize that our time with MTM has come to a close. After a lot of prayer and many sleepless nights, Arold and I have made the difficult decision to move our family to the U.S. for the next chapter of our lives. We are still passionate about empowering Haiti’s youth through education, and we hold a special place for Haitian kids in our hearts. We look forward to the day that God will move us back to Haiti. But for now, we’re preparing for an international move during the first week of June.

So, the bitter part is that we are leaving our students, our church, our first home, and Arold's family. It's definitely not going to be easy. The sweetness that helps us deal with all this bitter is that we'll be close to my family, have constant electricity, and be able to enjoy all of the conveniences that life in the US has to offer. 

Pray for us, will you?

P.S. Nothing is wrong. Yes, it is very fast timing, and we are as surprised as you are that we're moving to the States. We are confident this is where God is leading us for this phase of our lives, so as hard as it is to leave Haiti we need to be obedient to Him.

Christmas & Coffee

Christmas:

The plan was that all three of us would go to the States for three weeks during the holidays this year. However, the delays with Arold's visa mean that he's stuck in Haiti for at least another month. After much deliberation and tears (on my part), we've decided that Isaac and I will spend Christmas in Indiana without Arold. I'm really, really bummed about that part. I was looking forward to having my husband experience Christmas with my family. Christmas really isn't a big deal here (to my horror). Since his family doesn't have any traditions for this season, he just doesn't get my Christmas cheer.

So, I'm beyond excited that Isaac gets to meet his grandma and grandpa, Uncle Jason, and my entire extended family. But I'm also really bummed that we won't be spending our first Christmas as a family together. And I won't be in Haiti for our anniversary either because it's extra expensive to travel between Dec. 20th and Dec. 31st. But my husband assures me we will have lots of time to celebrate before school starts on Jan. 7th.

Coffee:
I'm bringing Haitian coffee with me. You can purchase a 10oz bag of delicious Haitian coffee for just $6. Pick up in Mishawaka and Goshen on Sunday Dec. 23rd. Or I can mail it to you on Dec. 20th, but I don't know what shipping will cost right now. Cash, check or PayPal. Leave a comment telling me how many bags you want, or e-mail me britneyLsmith (at) gmail (dot) com.

The Next Few Days

I apologize for the slow blogging the past few weeks. I have lots of things I want to share about graduation, the Philo class, some student work from the end of the year, and pictures from the last couple of weeks of school. I also have some pictures and stories from my time in the States, but I'm too busy enjoying my family and friends to write while I'm here. When I get back, I'll be able to post more pictures and stories for you to read. I have three more days to enjoy in the U.S.A. and then early on Tuesday morning I'll be off to the airport and back to my husband. (We've both decided we don't really want to do this weeks apart thing again.)

Pre-Wedding Photos

These are some of the pictures that were snapped by guests during our wedding. We're hoping to have the professional photos by the end of the week. You can click on the picture to see it in full size.

Pre-Wedding Photos

These are some of the pictures that were snapped by guests during our wedding. We're hoping to have the professional photos by the end of the week. You can click on the picture to see it in full size.

First Christmas in Haiti

This fall while I was still in the States, I would burst into tears every single time I thought about Christmas. I just couldn't fathom being away from my family on Christmas day. There are only two times I can remember anyone missing Myers family Christmas. Once when my dad went the ER on Christmas morning for chest pains and the other was when my cousin Nichole gave birth to Danicha on Christmas Eve. (Twelve years ago. How is it possible Danicha is that old?!) There's no alternating which side of the family you spend Christmas with. Everyone is there every year. Until this year when I was in Haiti.

screen shot of Smith grandparents

As much as I cried about what Christmas was not going to be this year, I really enjoyed Christmas day. I called my parents when I woke up, attended church (which was pretty awesome), and then Skyped with both the Myers family and my Smith grandparents in Missouri. Arold was even there for the second round of Skyping and got to witness his first Myers Family White Elephant. And he wasn't scarred by what he saw! (Let's just say the Myers family plays a dirty kind of White Elephant, and keep it at that.) It was awesome to be with Arold and my family all at the same time. Though, I still hope someday he can experience Myers family Christmas in person.

First Christmas in Haiti

This fall while I was still in the States, I would burst into tears every single time I thought about Christmas. I just couldn't fathom being away from my family on Christmas day. There are only two times I can remember anyone missing Myers family Christmas. Once when my dad went the ER on Christmas morning for chest pains and the other was when my cousin Nichole gave birth to Danicha on Christmas Eve. (Twelve years ago. How is it possible Danicha is that old?!) There's no alternating which side of the family you spend Christmas with. Everyone is there every year. Until this year when I was in Haiti.

screen shot of Smith grandparents

As much as I cried about what Christmas was not going to be this year, I really enjoyed Christmas day. I called my parents when I woke up, attended church (which was pretty awesome), and then Skyped with both the Myers family and my Smith grandparents in Missouri. Arold was even there for the second round of Skyping and got to witness his first Myers Family White Elephant. And he wasn't scarred by what he saw! (Let's just say the Myers family plays a dirty kind of White Elephant, and keep it at that.) It was awesome to be with Arold and my family all at the same time. Though, I still hope someday he can experience Myers family Christmas in person.

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

The last week has been a whirlwind, but I enjoyed having my family and friends in Haiti. The wedding was beautiful, the fellowship with friends and family incredible, and the unexpected blessings abundant.

AND, I'm officially married. There were days this fall I never thought the day would arrive! It was a special day, and I can't wait to see some more pictures. I'll post more about the wedding later, but here's a teaser photo of the pastor praying over us after we exchanged vows. So far it's my favorite.

Marrying Arold was the best end to 2011 I can imagine. Our first full day of married life was the best reward for a year full of patience. We're looking forward to growing closer to the Lord and each other in 2012.

Happy New Year, friends. Many blessings on you in this new year.

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

The last week has been a whirlwind, but I enjoyed having my family and friends in Haiti. The wedding was beautiful, the fellowship with friends and family incredible, and the unexpected blessings abundant.

AND, I'm officially married. There were days this fall I never thought the day would arrive! It was a special day, and I can't wait to see some more pictures. I'll post more about the wedding later, but here's a teaser photo of the pastor praying over us after we exchanged vows. So far it's my favorite.

Marrying Arold was the best end to 2011 I can imagine. Our first full day of married life was the best reward for a year full of patience. We're looking forward to growing closer to the Lord and each other in 2012.

Happy New Year, friends. Many blessings on you in this new year.

Thankful

I have much to be thankful for this year.

Unfortunately I don't have much time to write about it here.

I'm headed back to the land of rice and beans in just a couple of days. In the mean time I am packing my suitcases (apparently a little too well since one of them is much heavier than 50lbs... I'm having a hard time taking things out though!), and I'm also cleaning my room at my parents. I'm not sure how one person can collect so much junk in such a short time. I thought I was being intentional about not keeping things I don't need, but it turns but I just made lots of piles of junk in my bedroom. Apparently now I feel compelled to stuff as much of it as possible into my suitcases!

If you think of me in the next couple of days please say a little prayer for safe travels and a smooth transition back to life in Haiti. Pray for my family as they transition too.

Thankful

I have much to be thankful for this year.

Unfortunately I don't have much time to write about it here.

I'm headed back to the land of rice and beans in just a couple of days. In the mean time I am packing my suitcases (apparently a little too well since one of them is much heavier than 50lbs... I'm having a hard time taking things out though!), and I'm also cleaning my room at my parents. I'm not sure how one person can collect so much junk in such a short time. I thought I was being intentional about not keeping things I don't need, but it turns but I just made lots of piles of junk in my bedroom. Apparently now I feel compelled to stuff as much of it as possible into my suitcases!

If you think of me in the next couple of days please say a little prayer for safe travels and a smooth transition back to life in Haiti. Pray for my family as they transition too.

Three weeks to go

There are only three weeks until I leave for Haiti. Please pray...

• for quality time with my family in the next 3 weeks
• for a smooth transition for the teacher taking over my position in Mishawaka
• that I will not distance myself emotionally from my family and friends as a defense mechanism
• that God will prepare me for the changes I will encounter once I get to Haiti (some staff and ministry changes have occurred in the 5 months I've been away)
• for my loved ones to experience the peace and joy only God can give as we say goodbye for now
• that the Lord will be glorified in everything

Three weeks to go

There are only three weeks until I leave for Haiti. Please pray...

• for quality time with my family in the next 3 weeks
• for a smooth transition for the teacher taking over my position in Mishawaka
• that I will not distance myself emotionally from my family and friends as a defense mechanism
• that God will prepare me for the changes I will encounter once I get to Haiti (some staff and ministry changes have occurred in the 5 months I've been away)
• for my loved ones to experience the peace and joy only God can give as we say goodbye for now
• that the Lord will be glorified in everything

Where my heart is...

On Sunday I was able to be at my home church again. I don't think I'd been there in about 5 weeks. Two boys from the youth group actually sought me out to say they were happy I wasn't back in Haiti yet. They thought for sure that I had gone back without saying goodbye. Aren't they sweet?

I have really enjoyed traveling to other churches and sharing about what God is doing through Mountain Top Ministries in Haiti, but it was really refreshing to be with my church family again. I think I'll be able to worship with them for the next four Sundays. Then it will be time for me to return to Haiti and worship with my friends in Gramothe. Only four more Sundays in the States. That's both exciting and heart wrenching. Why can't Northern Indiana and Haiti be only 20 or 50 or even 100 miles apart? That would make my life much easier.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited to be going back. YES!! I'm thrilled that I will be with Arold in just 25 days. I can't wait to see my students and talk about school, their families, and what's happening in their lives. Being involved in the life changing ministry of MTM, through the clinic and the school and church, is something I love about being in Haiti.

But in some ways the next 25 days in the U.S. are the hardest because the excitement about going back is tempered with heart ache over leaving. My entire family lives here. They celebrate birthdays and holidays together. They hang out and eat at each others' houses. They get to do life together, and I'm in a different country getting glimpses of it through Facebook and e-mail. Two of my best friends just had babies. I can't cuddle with them from Haiti. I can't just stop by and get my baby fix. I won't be around as they grow and change. I can't celebrate milestones in their lives, and I likely won't even know when some of those milestones happen. Living in Haiti doesn't allow me to be intimately involved in my loved one's lives.

I fully recognize that this is the choice I've made, and I am confident beyond a shadow of a doubt that God wants me in Haiti. I have the peace that only God can give about moving to a country plagued by poverty, civil unrest, and diseases like cholera. I know that once I'm in Haiti again I will be excited to be there, but saying goodbye (even when it's just for a few months--I will be back in June) is hard and I wish I didn't have to do it. I hate thinking "Is this the last time I'm going to see this person before I go?" because it makes me want to cry every. single. time.

Maybe I'm a little hormonal today and my emotions are getting the best of me.

Or maybe life is messy and saying goodbye to the people you love is always hard, no matter how confident you are that where you're going is where God wants you.

Where my heart is...

On Sunday I was able to be at my home church again. I don't think I'd been there in about 5 weeks. Two boys from the youth group actually sought me out to say they were happy I wasn't back in Haiti yet. They thought for sure that I had gone back without saying goodbye. Aren't they sweet?

I have really enjoyed traveling to other churches and sharing about what God is doing through Mountain Top Ministries in Haiti, but it was really refreshing to be with my church family again. I think I'll be able to worship with them for the next four Sundays. Then it will be time for me to return to Haiti and worship with my friends in Gramothe. Only four more Sundays in the States. That's both exciting and heart wrenching. Why can't Northern Indiana and Haiti be only 20 or 50 or even 100 miles apart? That would make my life much easier.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited to be going back. YES!! I'm thrilled that I will be with Arold in just 25 days. I can't wait to see my students and talk about school, their families, and what's happening in their lives. Being involved in the life changing ministry of MTM, through the clinic and the school and church, is something I love about being in Haiti.

But in some ways the next 25 days in the U.S. are the hardest because the excitement about going back is tempered with heart ache over leaving. My entire family lives here. They celebrate birthdays and holidays together. They hang out and eat at each others' houses. They get to do life together, and I'm in a different country getting glimpses of it through Facebook and e-mail. Two of my best friends just had babies. I can't cuddle with them from Haiti. I can't just stop by and get my baby fix. I won't be around as they grow and change. I can't celebrate milestones in their lives, and I likely won't even know when some of those milestones happen. Living in Haiti doesn't allow me to be intimately involved in my loved one's lives.

I fully recognize that this is the choice I've made, and I am confident beyond a shadow of a doubt that God wants me in Haiti. I have the peace that only God can give about moving to a country plagued by poverty, civil unrest, and diseases like cholera. I know that once I'm in Haiti again I will be excited to be there, but saying goodbye (even when it's just for a few months--I will be back in June) is hard and I wish I didn't have to do it. I hate thinking "Is this the last time I'm going to see this person before I go?" because it makes me want to cry every. single. time.

Maybe I'm a little hormonal today and my emotions are getting the best of me.

Or maybe life is messy and saying goodbye to the people you love is always hard, no matter how confident you are that where you're going is where God wants you.

Student Writing: Parents

Here's another writing sample from one of my older students. She wrote about her family and how much she loves her parents. I think she did a fabulous job.

Student Writing: Parents

Here's another writing sample from one of my older students. She wrote about her family and how much she loves her parents. I think she did a fabulous job.

A Little Taste of Home

I really like being in Haiti, but I miss a lot of things about the United States. Recently the arrival of some small treasures brought joy to my heart.

 

 First there were the FOUR bags (two of which are Costco sized and were shared immediately) of Dove chocolates that some lovely friends brought me.

 Then there was the arrival of my treasured hymnal. I wanted to bring it with me after Christmas, but my suitcases were too heavy. My parents brought it too me a week ago, so I spent one night this week singing all my favorite songs.

The best treasure of all was this note my mom left me on my refrigerator when she and my dad left.