Conflicted

I love being here in Indiana. I am enjoying the time with my family, the snuggle time with Dax the dog, and the yummy food. I forgot how much I liked American food! More than that, I've felt overwhelmingly blessed by my church family. They welcomed me so warmly with hugs and hellos; it was like I had never left. They even have gifts for me to take back to my students in Haiti. And I'm really looking forward to reconnecting with so many friends over the next week.

But even with all these sweet blessings, I miss Haiti. My little friend Rosias was baptized yesterday after church, and I'm really bummed that I wasn't there for it. Later this week is January 1st. It's one of the most celebrated holidays in Haiti--it's both New Year's Day and their independence day. I'm sad I'll miss that celebration too. I miss the kids from Laboule and my computer class. Even though I haven't mentioned it to the internet world before, I've met someone special in Haiti. I miss him. A lot.

I'm having a hard time reconciling these conflicting emotions. I want to be able to enjoy my parents and friends without feeling like I'm missing out on what's going on in Haiti. And I want to be able to connect with my Haitian friends and students without the guilt of feeling like I abandoned my loved ones in Indiana.

What I really want is to be able to call both places home, and enjoy the time I have in each place, without feeling guilty.

Conflicted

I love being here in Indiana. I am enjoying the time with my family, the snuggle time with Dax the dog, and the yummy food. I forgot how much I liked American food! More than that, I've felt overwhelmingly blessed by my church family. They welcomed me so warmly with hugs and hellos; it was like I had never left. They even have gifts for me to take back to my students in Haiti. And I'm really looking forward to reconnecting with so many friends over the next week.

But even with all these sweet blessings, I miss Haiti. My little friend Rosias was baptized yesterday after church, and I'm really bummed that I wasn't there for it. Later this week is January 1st. It's one of the most celebrated holidays in Haiti--it's both New Year's Day and their independence day. I'm sad I'll miss that celebration too. I miss the kids from Laboule and my computer class. Even though I haven't mentioned it to the internet world before, I've met someone special in Haiti. I miss him. A lot.

I'm having a hard time reconciling these conflicting emotions. I want to be able to enjoy my parents and friends without feeling like I'm missing out on what's going on in Haiti. And I want to be able to connect with my Haitian friends and students without the guilt of feeling like I abandoned my loved ones in Indiana.

What I really want is to be able to call both places home, and enjoy the time I have in each place, without feeling guilty.

Through New Eyes

I've been thinking a lot about these people since I arrived on U.S. soil.

My after school computer class.

I wonder what they would think of the snow, the Christmas decorations, the constant electricity, church services at St. Mark, the smooth roads, the food. Life in the States is vastly different than the life my students live in Haiti, and I wonder what they would think if they could be here.

This Christmas I'm enjoying the gift of new eyes, of seeing life from a different perspective.

Through New Eyes

I've been thinking a lot about these people since I arrived on U.S. soil.

My after school computer class.

I wonder what they would think of the snow, the Christmas decorations, the constant electricity, church services at St. Mark, the smooth roads, the food. Life in the States is vastly different than the life my students live in Haiti, and I wonder what they would think if they could be here.

This Christmas I'm enjoying the gift of new eyes, of seeing life from a different perspective.

Golden Nuggets V

Golden Nuggets is a term I am borrowing from my friend Sini who is spending her senior year of high school in Indonesia as a foreign exchange student. She calls all the random facts she's gathered about the country she's now living in Golden Nuggets. In that vein, I am going to periodically share Golden Nuggets about Haiti. 

• Apparently passing police cars is just fine and dandy in Haiti, even if they have their lights on. I witnessed a motocycle passing a police car on Sunday evening. The police had their colored lights going, but Johane thought that was just because it was so dark. She said as long as the police car didn't appear to be chasing someone down it's okay to pass them. Can you imagine passing a police car in the States???

• Sinks in Haiti don't have hot water. I was reminded of this when I returned to the States and was confused when the water coming out of the sink wasn't cold. I actually had to adjust the faucet to get cold water I wanted to come out. 

• In Haiti you aren't supposed to flush toilet paper. You put it in the trash next to the toilet. At the Miami airport I was thinking, "Wow. That's a little trash can. If they put a bigger trash can in here, they wouldn't have to empty it every 20 minutes." Then I realized I was in the U.S. and the toilet paper didn't need to go in the trash can, but that was after I had already put it in the trash.

Golden Nuggets V

Golden Nuggets is a term I am borrowing from my friend Sini who is spending her senior year of high school in Indonesia as a foreign exchange student. She calls all the random facts she's gathered about the country she's now living in Golden Nuggets. In that vein, I am going to periodically share Golden Nuggets about Haiti. 

• Apparently passing police cars is just fine and dandy in Haiti, even if they have their lights on. I witnessed a motocycle passing a police car on Sunday evening. The police had their colored lights going, but Johane thought that was just because it was so dark. She said as long as the police car didn't appear to be chasing someone down it's okay to pass them. Can you imagine passing a police car in the States???

• Sinks in Haiti don't have hot water. I was reminded of this when I returned to the States and was confused when the water coming out of the sink wasn't cold. I actually had to adjust the faucet to get cold water I wanted to come out. 

• In Haiti you aren't supposed to flush toilet paper. You put it in the trash next to the toilet. At the Miami airport I was thinking, "Wow. That's a little trash can. If they put a bigger trash can in here, they wouldn't have to empty it every 20 minutes." Then I realized I was in the U.S. and the toilet paper didn't need to go in the trash can, but that was after I had already put it in the trash.

Travel Day, 2nd Half

My flight out of Miami was scheduled to leave at 7:20 pm. Around the time we should have started boarding the plane, someone came on the intercom to explain that we were in "decision time" and they would let us know when a decision had been made. Twenty minutes later we were told our flight was delayed for an hour.

Around 8pm we boarded the plane. As soon as everyone was settled, the pilot announced that we were still not cleared to fly into Chicago. He was optimistic, though, and wanted us in our seats ready to go so we could take off as soon as Chicago gave us the all clear signal. I had woken up at 5am and didn't have anyone sitting next to me on the plane. I decided a nap was in order. At 9pm I was startled awake by the pilot's second announcement: Our flight had officially been delayed another 55 minutes due to nasty weather in Chicago. I borrowed a cell phone to call my mom (who was already at Portage) to say I was still in Miami. She went to my brother's apartment to hang out for a little while, and I went back to sleep.

Finally a few minutes before 10pm, our plane started taxing down the runway. I was back to sleep before we reached our maximum cruising altitude. However, my nap didn't last long. About 20 minutes in the air, I heard what sounded like a child's scream. I was groggy and assumed someone's child was being unruly. However, the second time I heard the scream it was followed by a mother's call for help. Her teenage daughter was having a seizure. Two medical professionals jumped out of their seats and came to the girl's aid. The entire plan was silent and watching. After the seizure ended and the girl became coherent again, it was clear she was going to be okay. I was afraid they would turn the plane around and go back to Miami, but we kept on toward Chicago. Eventually sleep overcame me and I was able to sleep almost the entire way to Chicago. 

When we reached Chicago a few minutes past 1am, we had to wait a few minutes on the tarmac. First we waited for the tunnel to be connected to the plane. Then the girl who had the seizure had to get off the plane with the paramedics, but they let her walk herself off. I saw her later at the baggage area and she looked perfectly fine. I'm fairly certain her sister said she'd had seizures before, so I don't think it was new experience for their family. I still felt bad for them though.

Eventually I found my bag, and just as I was getting ready to ask a stranger to use a cellphone I spotted my mom. We loaded up the car and headed for Indiana. After a slight detour to get me something to eat and a missed exit for the Skyway, we arrived safely in Middlebury just before 5am on Tuesday morning. It was a very long day of travel, but I made it safely and that's what is important.